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Random Thoughts

I'm trying to understand what's going on. But, i can't.

I'm trying to understand why i'm acting the way i am. But, i can't.

Sometimes, I just think to myself, "Wow...being a Christian is...a lot of work. It's hard. Is it really worth it?"

And i know, "Its not in our strength, its in the Lords." But hell, it's not like it's that easy.
I mean, we can't just sit there and say "okay God, i'm gonna be a good christian in your strength" and have everything just fall into place. We still have to work at it. I mean, how do we do it in God's strength? We have to be connected to Him. We have to be praying daily, and immersed in the Word. And that, my friend, is hard work sometimes. Like right now.

And i think that is the root of my issues. Why i'm always irritable, why I passive-aggressivly lash out without reason at those i care about, why i really don't enjoy life right now, why old habits that should be dead are popping back up again, starting to sound appealing again.

See, this is why i stopped having a blog in the first place....i just use it to display my depressed moods. This is silly.

It's 11:24. I'm going to turn off the lights in the dining hall and go home. Work is over.

Comments

  1. AnonymousJuly 8, 2010 at 7:12 PM

    Find cell phone reception. Love you, Bre.

    ReplyDelete

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