Converse-n-Scrubs

The trip started out as any other trip with us does: behind schedule. Telling everyone to meet at 2:15 didn't really help us get out on time if the driver (me) wasn't even ready till 3. Once we finally left, my car had to get food and gas, Alexx's car had to go get Matt, Puff and Joe were driving on their way, and Kassia was meeting us there from up North. My group finally got out around 4, and since the three of us girl were all in commited relationships we passed the ride talking about first kisses and our favorite memories with our lovers. Almost there, we realized the place we were going to.....wasn't going to work out. After driving around for an hour we finally found a place, and then had the task of telling everyone else how to get there...which we didn't know how to do. The three of us loaded up our arms with stuff from the car and proceeded to walk down the beach. As it turned out, we had parked a LOT further away than was necessary, and we had to stop seve...

My entire body aches. My skin feels raw, like the slightest human touch would make me cringe. Yet perhaps it is human touch I am craving. Why are there not more hours in the day? I am not ready for what the next two days hold, let alone what the next two weeks has in store. I've come to terms with the fact that the purple bags under my eyes will probably never disappear. My muscles are so twitchy. So twitchy. I hate this. Don't ask me whats wrong, I'm not entirely sure. I think it has to do with being a girl. Oh how I detest that excuse. Yet it holds so much validity. I think I shall try to sleep now. That usually helps. Usually. Its more palliative. Sleep helps alleviate the symptoms. The root problem remains. And tomorrow I shall rise once again to fight the cancer that ails every college student: homework.

Two months in two days it all seems to be such a haze to think of what could be now to think of the change it would have brought about What would it have been like if God allowed my fears such bittersweet thoughts that mix with the tears For I'm not sure which is worse to think of then or now as the curse if only i could have better assessed then i could know for sure this would not trouble my rest But whatever the reason the Almighty has chose this path is the best of that I am sure Only the regret of prayers whispered in secret remains in my heart and forever i'll keep it.

And so our road trip is coming to a close....a very tragic event to be sure. We shall arise bright and early on the morrow to venture forth, rain or shine, to join the rest of our party and take the long and arduous road back to CBU to be flung right back into the chaos of school. Oh the joys. Today was a day I wished would never end. So utterly near perfection. As well it should have been, for today was the day we celebrate our Blessed Saviour's resurrection. Meeting my lover's family, going to a favorite church in the area, having a relaxing afternoon at his grandfather's house....all so perfect. Currently i am sitting on the couch in Ruth's house, pretending the cats allergen's aren't bothering me, and listening to Tchaikovsky while writing this. I have good friends close by, and a cup of sweet tea by my feet. Yes, a good end to a good day. Oh, did i mention the chips and salsa and the salt water taffy? Yes. Yes indeed. Though I have many thoughts, I will say...

For the past few weeks the chapel speakers have had something in common with their stories: at some point in time, somewhere a long the line, the woman they loved said something very harsh to them. And that harsh word was the "kick in the pants" they needed to become the men of God they were striving to be. I found it very interesting, as I've always had almost a stigma against a guy changing just for the woman he loves. But obviously, Christ can and does use even that. It has made me ponder the failures of the past, and wonder if he'd be a different man today if I had simply stood up for what I knew was truth, and been that "kick in the pants" he needed. Did my choosing to simply ignore some major issues only aid him in his impending destruction? Not that I am blaming myself, I fully understand that he was and still is capable of making his own choices and being quite responsible for them. But I wonder....could I have helped more than I hindered? Perhaps th...